True psychospiritual growth entails periods of pain and isolation. Focused introspection will allow you to learn from the situation and move forward. You will need to be self-disciplined, self-reliant, and self-contained. You must learn to be enough, by yourself.

The Path

This is a journey of binary decisions. You may decide to start this inner investigation, this “soul searching,” or not. If you choose to start, you may decide to continue or not.

But aspirants on this path are here for one reason: pain.

Some are tired of lies and betrayal, so they commit themselves to living a truthful life. Others are so distraught by the misfortune of others that they dedicate themselves to alleviating their suffering. Many yearn for a respite from fear and anxiety, and resolve to choose peace in all situations

Siddhartha Gautama experienced a profound existential crisis as a result of witnessing human suffering and death. His choice of a “Middle Path” led to Bodh Gaya, where under a Bodhi tree he achieved enlightenment and became the Buddha (“Awakened One”).

The defining event of Christianity is the moment that Jesus of Nazareth, doubtful and in pain, chose a path of physical death on a torture device designed for criminals, to save others from eternal damnation.

Socrates voluntarily drank a fatal dose of hemlock rather than deviate from a path of truth and intellectual freedom.

These events shaped humankind and have been discussed for centuries. Millions of people discuss and debate the paths that these individuals chose, and millions still adopt them as a case of “best practices" for their own lives.

All of these profound decisions came as a result of pain, and the resolution of pain. Each was a product of an unwavering commitment to a path deemed more valuable than royalty, riches and even survival itself.

Your path likely does not involve poison, crucifixion or extreme asceticism, but make no mistake: as stated before, this path is binary. The journey is difficult. To ignore it is even more difficult.


A Matter of Mindset

Here is another unpleasant truth: you must follow your path alone.

There are two primary reasons that this can only be a solitary trip. First, each person has a different path, even if to the same destination. No one will face the same trials in the same way, nor make the same decisions and take the same actions as you.

Secondly - and more to the point of this essay - there is a certain type of strength necessary to survive this journey and reap the immeasurable riches it inevitably bestows upon the successful.

This strength only comes as a result of complete and inviolable self-responsibility.

You cannot ask others for advice, for their path is not your own. Nor may you rely upon others to assist you, because you do not develop the stamina to climb the mountain if you are carried. You alone must discern the path, make your own decisions, take your own actions, and deal with the consequences of those actions.

Once you set your mind to this task, you are indeed an “army of one.” Herein lies the great secret of complete autonomy and irrevocable freedom: with the mindset necessary to traverse this path, you prove to yourself that you are self-disciplined, self-contained and self-reliant; that you know how to be enough.

Lessons Learned


The duration of this road trip is precisely one human lifetime. The goal is to take the journey. And the journey is the experience of growth.

Lest we plunge into metaphysical ambiguity, it is prudent to elucidate some of the hallmarks of “growth.” How else will you know if you are, as they say, on the right path?

The manifestations of the path to psychospiritual growth come as lessons which are their own rewards, necessary and sufficient to sustain you on your journey. To recognize them, ask yourself:

Am I moving from judgement towards acceptance?

Do I resolve conflict with a goal of love, rather than revenge?

Have I learned that peace is far superior to being right?

Is it clear to me that the only person whose actions I can control is me?

Do I have the wisdom to choose to have no opinion?

Do I have the discipline to spend less than I make, the grace to listen more than I speak and the good fortune to give more than I receive?

If you are learning how to protect your peace and benefit others, you are solidly on the path, narrow though it most decidedly is.

The self-sufficient journey towards psychospiritual growth is one of the pillars of what I have come to call “Hardcore Happiness.” Happiness, in the sense that you learn to avoid and mitigate your own detrimental tendencies and sustain the deep satisfaction that results. Hardcore, because this is an active path of discipline, effort, sacrifice and periods of voluntary solitude.

Be Enough


If you are well along this path, please accept this humble epistle as a recognition of your Work, a celebration of your successes, and a validation of the fact that you have learned to be enough.

If you are only starting out down the road, define your values - the things most dearly important to you, and only deviate if you define - for yourself - better values. Turn those values into moral precepts by which you choose to live. Act unerringly in accordance with those precepts, and damn the consequences. The closer you can come to a set of categorical imperatives, the better.

When you inevitably crash and burn, remember the ancient Japanese proverb: 七転び八起き (nana korobi ya oki) - “Seven times you fall, eight times you rise.”

See you on the road.



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- JWW