In my last article, I compared the occasionally severe emotional turbulence of life to an out-of-control spin in an airplane; a situation that can be fatal if left uncorrected. The analogy still serves; the steps to recovery are uncannily similar in both cases.

Situational Awareness

You have to be aware that you’re in a potentially dangerous situation before you can correct it. In the airplane, this is pretty obvious: Your stomach is in your throat, the windshield is full of the ground beneath you, rapidly getting closer and going round and round in circles.

In life, the situation is much more insidious. I gave a more detailed checklist in my last article (which you can see here), but if your emotional state is in chaos and you find yourself distracted one moment and panicky the next, you are probably “spun.”

If you’re not sure, reach out to someone who can give you an external, objective opinion.

And keep reading.

Pull The Throttle Back

The danger lies in the fact that you are rapidly descending. In the airplane, gravity is pulling you towards the hard, unforgiving ground. Your wings are no longer providing lift and you are plummeting towards a very unfortunate situation. Your propeller still works, however, and is actually accelerating you towards your encounter with Mother Earth. The first step in recovery, therefore, is to pull back the throttle. Give yourself time to effect the rest of the steps necessary for your survival.

In an emotional spin, the rapid descent is again the primary concern. Unchecked, the fall leads to loss of productivity, anxiety, decreased self-esteem, depression, ill health, dangerous thoughts and behaviors. And yes, death can and does come to those who can’t recover.

The first action is still to slow the descent. Unfortunately, the emotional fall doesn’t have a conveniently labeled handle marked, “throttle.”

It takes time and a capacity for introspection to find the situations and events that accelerate your downward spiral. In most cases, there are more than one. This step in recovery also requires the ability to be honest with yourself. Can you separate what you wish was true from what is real?

Are you putting an ever-increasing amount of energy into someone who shows no sign of reciprocating your care? Do you work in an environment that seems unlikely to reward your effort and excellence? Are you in a relationship that has stalled in spite of the fact that you are giving your best?

There are other actions you can take: drop the caffeine, get up early, exercise, have lunch with a friend, confront the situation(s). Get professional help if you think it's a good idea.

As difficult as it may seem, it may well be time to pull the throttle back on people and situations that make you feel bad.

Stop The Spin

This one takes some effort.

In the airplane, this step requires that you neutralize the ailerons (straighten the “steering wheel”) and then forcefully apply pressure to the rudder pedals in a direction opposite to the direction of the spin. If the airplane is spinning to the right, push on the left pedal. Hard. Then hold that rudder pedal down until the airplane stops spinning. Good progress, but you are now in a (controlled) dive straight down towards the earth.

In the emotional world, It also takes concerted effort to stop the spin. You may have to take the time to meet with that disruptive and chaotic person, and gently (be the bigger person, always) but firmly end the relationship. No backsliding! Remember, you were most likely in love with your fantasy of who they could be, not who they are. Change your focus to a new person with less drama and the willingness to reciprocate your attention. This will entail the search for a compatible person and the whole reality TV show that is modern dating. Time consuming and tedious, but necessary.

You might have to spruce up your resume and hit the streets (or Internet) to find a new job. You may need to research a a new place to live, including the move and the new job and new contacts and all the rest.

You gotta stop the spin, even if it’s hard.

Pull Out of The Dive

The good news is that, at this point in the recovery process, you are back in control. In the aircraft, all that’s left to do is pull back on the yoke or the stick and pull out of the dive. One caution, however: if you pull too aggressively, you can damage the airplane. Take care not to pull the wings off.

In the emotional world, the good news is the same. The initial disorientation has been recognized and dealt with, and the hard work required to stop the spin has been done. But even though you have regained control of your life and emotions, you may still be in a downward trajectory.

Now is the time to take care of yourself.

Imagine simple pleasures - what is fun and easy? Think back to a simpler, happier time. Remember a beautiful summer day spent hanging out with friends. No pressure, no agenda, nothing to prove and nothing to accomplish. As is the case in the airplane, movements made in this phase should be gentle. Too violent a correction can cause another emotional spin or significant mental and physical damage. Be cautious not to pull your own wings off.

As you begin to safely level off, you can again find and pursue your own unique purpose. Best to become sufficient unto yourself. Develop (or refocus on) your own interests.

When you are at the helm, it is much more difficult to lose control in the first place. This is equally true in aviation and life.

Recovery

If it seems like a lot, that’s because it is. Neither the conditions that caused the spin nor the way out of it are easy, and both can be confusing, disorienting, frightening.

But this much I know, from both living and piloting: You have to recover from the spin before you can start to climb again.



I am a creator (musician, writer, live-streamer and podcaster), entrepreneur, educator and counselor.



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- JWW