A Framework for Making Good Decisions

I see it all the time. People work hard to achieve their dreams, but can’t seem to get out of their own way. I’m as guilty as anyone; it is a very human tendency to focus on our goals but pay less attention to thoughts and actions that can hold us back. The concept of Right Action is easy to understand; just “Do the right thing.” Actually pulling it off, however, is more complicated.

It is dangerous to oversimplify the process; the areas you ignore can undermine the areas of your focus. Oversight will sabotage your effort. So this article is going to be a little more technical and less philosophical than my typical writing.

What’s Good?

Some definitions are in order.

“Good” decisions are what’s “good” for you. And YOU get to decide what that looks like. This judgement does not include the opinions of anyone else, unless you decide, after thoughtful examination, to include them.

No one else can live your life. Think for yourself.

This admonition includes advice from parents, caretakers, children, doctors (including me!), well-meaning friends and relatives and ALL forms of electronic communication. Do not be influenced by “influencers,” nor swayed by social media, TV, podcasts, YouTube or any of the rest of it.

I’m not advising you to ignore all that information; there is some signal to be found in the noise. But think critically and decide exactly what fits your purpose, goals and world view. (If you don’t have any idea what your purpose, goals or world view look like, that’s a whole different issue. Figure that out - let me know if you need help - then come back to this discussion.)

So what is “good,” in light of your independent assessments? I would posit an operational definition.

Good decisions:

- Are made in accordance with your definitions and expectations (what you “want”)
- Are in alignment with your purpose
- Trend toward growth and happiness
- Enable mental and physical health

We will label those decisions positive.

Not So Good

“Bad” decisions are generally the opposite. Again, these judgement statements are to be evaluated in light of your personal definitions. But it is safe to say that bad decisions

- Are in opposition to your goals and expectations (what you don’t want)
- Are contrary to your stated purpose
- Trend toward stagnation and regret/anxiety/depression
- Enable mental and physical illness

Let’s call those decisions negative.

Some decisions and actions are “bad” and you knew they were bad when you made them. There are only two types of experiences: wins and lessons. When you took an action based on a decision you knew was bad, there’s a good chance you had a learning experience.

Some decisions were actually good moves for you in a specific place and time and situation, but they may not serve you where you are today. This is why it’s a good idea to reassess your decisions and actions to be sure that yesterday’s good decision is still good.

So now you have a framework for what constitutes a positive or negative decision; what do you do with that? There’s more to it than, “Do only the good stuff.”

Take It or Leave It

Once you independently define positive and negative decisions for yourself, the next step is to take action. What may not be immediately apparent is the fact that taking no action is itself an action.

For this reason, it is helpful to divide actions into those you actively chase and those you don’t. And then also consider the actions you choose not to take.

First, let’s look at the decisions that - when we act on them - will result in more of a certain outcome. Because we have to actively “go for it” to achieve them, we will call them pursuit decisions.

Pursuit decisions have some common characteristics. They

- Are active processes
- Take intent and discipline
- Require energy to make them happen

Say you want to sing in the local choir. If you simply sit there and “want,” your goal will likely be unfulfilled. It takes discipline and energy to find a choir group, talk to the choirmaster, go audition, learn the music, make it to rehearsals and so forth.

You may also decide to take the action of no action. These decisions will result in less of a specific outcome; they result in actions we choose to avoid. We can call them avoidance decisions.

Avoidance decisions have factors in common as well. They

- Are usually passive processes
- Can be the result of intent and discipline
- Require less energy, because the decision is to take no action.

Imagine you make a decision to lose weight. You want less of something (body weight). Your decision is then to avoid the action of eating that bag of cookies. You have avoided an outcome by not taking an action.

Yes, I acknowledge that it can take a tremendous amount of psychological energy to say no to that hot fudge sundae, but there is no physical energy involved in the not eating.

Here’s the rub: you can actively pursue things that are good for you, and things that are bad for you. Likewise, you can choose to ignore harmful actions and thus get better, or ignore helpful things and get worse.

All Together Now

We can schematize this into four quadrants along two dimensions:

First is the beneficial/adaptive dimension: What’s “good” for you.

These decisions can take two very different forms:

You can actively do what’s good for you (positive pursuit), or you can passively avoid what’s bad for you (positive avoidance). Both result in beneficial outcomes.

Then there is the harmful/maladaptive dimension: What’s “bad” for you.

These decisions also take two forms:

You can choose to passively avoid what’s good for you (negative avoidance), and you can pursue what’s bad for you (negative pursuit), both to your detriment.

A visual of the process:



Here is a quick example of each of the four conditions:

Positive pursuit: You go to the gym.

Positive avoidance: You forego the pizza binge.

Negative avoidance: You choose to skip much needed sleep.

Negative pursuit: “Screw it - I think I will have nine margaritas!”

When you become clear on these four conditions, you will be much less likely to show up in my office and say, “I studied all week for that final and still didn’t get a good grade,” but neglect to tell me that you partied until 4 AM the day before the test.

I believe the common idiom for these contradictory decisions is, “shooting oneself in the foot.”

It is easy, for instance, to consider the positive pursuit decisions and conveniently ignore the negative pursuit decisions. Look at all of your decisions - to include your decisions not to take action - to figure out what’s really going on.

Right Action

There is nothing groundbreaking about the revelation that you can make good decisions or bad decisions. The value of this discussion is to remind you to evaluate your decisions in view of the whole picture - including actions you don’t take - and act on those that fall in quadrants II and III. Abandon those that live in areas I and IV.

May you enjoy the fruits of your honest and enlightened decisions.



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To learn more about how to use these concepts or to inquire about working with me, you can contact me on the Hardcore Happiness website, the comments section on my Substack or Medium accounts or the Hardcore Happiness blog page. If you have found value in this article, follow my Instagram account for daily insights, or my X account for occasional tweets. To support this community, you can Buy Me A Coffee or donate through my Patreon account.

- JWW